Someone I Love is Lost in their Addiction

We all know someone who has been affected by addiction. And this National Recovery Month, we are speaking to a former board member to answer one of the most challenging questions we hear at Gospel Rescue Mission, "What can I do if someone I love is lost in their addiction?"

Transcript

Pascal Quintero: 0:12

Hello, and welcome to homeless to wholeness, a ministry of gospel rescue mission. We're a team of Christ followers on a mission to help others find hope and restoration. My name is Pascal Quintero, and I'm the creative manager at gospel rescue mission. But more than that, I'm a seventh generation to Sony. And I have a deep love and a passion for both its history and the people of this great community. So please listen in every other week as we share the inspirational stories of individuals who overcame extreme challenges and found a new life in Christ moving from homeless to homeless. Thank you for joining us today we're with Jerry Clark. And I'm honored that she's joining us on the podcast today. She used to be on gospel rescue missions board of directors, she was actually our first ever board member who had been through the recovery program. But Sherry, you stepped down from that position in 2021. Do you want to talk a little bit about what led you to step down?

Sherry Clark: 1:14

Sure, during a board meeting, we had a couple of the employees come in and share their testimony of why they became employees gospel rescue mission. And I was already struggling in my employment where I was working at the time. And when I heard their testimony, I was moved, I was emotionally moved. Then I kind of played it off. And you know, I talked to Lisa and I asked her about I'm having these emotions and Lisa's like really. And I said but there might just be emotions, I got to pray about them. And then the following month board meeting, two more employees came in and told their testimonies. And then I knew God was calling me to become an employee myself with the Gospel Rescue Mission, then you cannot serve on the board and be an employee at the same time. So that's when I decided a new God was calling me to be an employee of the mission and to step down,

Pascal Quintero: 2:18

and now you're a recovery coach. Is that your official title? Yes, it is. And how do you feel about the role I love

Sherry Clark: 2:27

I love my job. Being a graduate myself, that went through the recovery program, and knowing what that entailed and what was needed. And then to step in that role, and now become the person that walks with the guest here. During that recovery part of the program. I was honored, I'm honored, I was moved. Yeah, I'm delighted to become a employee of gospel rescue mission.

Pascal Quintero: 3:01

I feel the same way. I'm just blessed to be here. Because every single day, I hear these incredible stories of transformations. And just to witness that and be a part of that and to be a fellow worker in the field. It's a blessing to us who do that?

Sherry Clark: 3:20

Absolutely. How God can transform a life. change somebody's heart. It's it's a miracle in itself.

Pascal Quintero: 3:30

So September is National Recovery Month. Although recovery is a topic we discuss every month here on the podcast, I just want to take a moment and explain why it is such an essential conversation for us that gospel rescue mission. This ministry It was founded in 1953 when Ray and Alice Chasteen saw a need in Tucson and decided to do something about it. Since then, the impact this ministry has had on people's lives is just too significant to be calculated. However, there's still a great need within our community. In the state of Arizona alone. 43,000 Teenagers reported using drugs in the last month. And last year 2006 people died of opioid overdoses in Arizona 2006 See that's, that's not a number. These are people. These could be our friends, our brothers, our sisters, our parents, these 2006 people could be people that we love. We are a country in crisis. And I'm not just talking about the war on drugs or infrastructure, the economy the rising cost of housing, the cost of fuel inflation, or health. All a person has to do is drive through town and witness the rising homeless crisis in our city. But there's an answer to all of this. And the purpose of this podcast is not just to talk about these problems that we see, but to talk about the solution, and to share the hope that we have found in Christ. Now, we know how to end homelessness. We know how to battle addiction, and to send it into remission. And I realize how big those claims are, especially now in today's environment. But I'm not talking about universals. No matter how hard we try, I don't believe we will ultimately end homelessness. However, we can end homelessness for individuals, we can help people find recovery. And really, that's what we want to talk about on this podcast.

Sherry Clark: 5:55

I'm just moved. You made a list of, you know, people, and all I could think is is also Sons Daughters, that we could lose. Those are broken people. They're humans that are broken inside that turned to drugs and alcohol, to numb, to get out of feelings, to run from trauma, and tragedy. So it tears me up, and it makes me emotional, just thinking of how many still are still out there, lost and broken. He's not all about the drugs and alcohol. What many turned to him for comfort? And to ease the pain of being homeless? And but yeah, we have, we have a big problem on our hands throughout the whole United States. You can see it on our streets.

Pascal Quintero: 6:57

And when we're talking about homelessness, you know, substance addiction is a significant significant factor to that. So what is addiction? How would you define it?

Sherry Clark: 7:10

Addiction is something that we have turned to, to, to numb out, it could be any type of addiction. It doesn't have to be a substance, I can think of addiction such as shopping, gambling, over eating, hoarding. So addictions come in many forms. Our society has turned around and and seen as addictions is something that we decide to do, besides facing an emotion, a feeling of fear, a problem, traumatic events, traumatized anything that we can get out of going through it, talking about it feeling. So we turn to an addictive behavior. What I've

Pascal Quintero: 8:03

heard is that it's a chronic dysfunction of the brain that really evolves around the reward circuit. Absolutely. So we talk about those behaviors, it can change the chemistry in a person's brain, causing that person to crave that substance or that behavior beyond what is reasonable for them. Right. And it becomes harmful and obsessive. We pursue that reward circuit with a total lack of concern for consequences. There's something that happens in the brain that changes. I'm trying to think of that. Is it dopamine, dopamine,

Sherry Clark: 8:47

you're correct. That is the word. That is the chemical.

Pascal Quintero: 8:51

I've heard it said that dopamine can be triggered in so many different ways. You mentioned those activities. But I've even heard that people can experience dopamine triggers by looking at their phone when they're on social media, or tick tock, you know, I used to get it through exercise, I was excessively exercised for years. And it's okay to seek those things, which are healthy for you that make you feel good. But it's when you take it to that next level, when it starts to become harmful for you, and you pursue it beyond what is reasonable, then that's when it crosses a line for negative addiction,

Sherry Clark: 9:36

to rationalize, to keep things in perspective, are no longer a choice. We just automatically turn to the addictive substance or the behavior. And we don't rationalize anything anymore. We've lost that ability to do that. We no longer think the pros and cons Once we never, we no longer say, Well, I wonder if I go to the bar for one hour for one beer? I'll be okay. When we don't think that through because then before you know it, it's an all night and it could be several bars. But that is rationalizing choices, should I not do it because I need to get up and go to work in the morning, should I all of that is gone. And I've heard that it's 10 to 210 times stronger. When we're in our addictive behavior when our brain is now in an addictive stage, that that's how much stronger that trigger is in that force is and that craving, the behavior, then a regular brain would would function by itself, we no longer have the choice.

Pascal Quintero: 11:04

So the brain actually becomes damaged in some way. So one of the things that we see a lot of here at gospel rescue mission, our messages, people who tell us that their son is in addiction, their daughters in addiction, or someone they love is going through something that really frightens them, and they don't know where to go for help. Now, if we start seeing changing behaviors in someone that we love, that can be quite scary. Now, are there certain indicators that we should be looking for, for certain types of drug use or abuse?

Sherry Clark: 11:41

So there's quite a few different ones. And it almost depends on what type of drug it is, you know, some, some are so hidden and some at the beginning, you wouldn't really tell because they're still so functional, but changing behaviors, mood swings, becoming very easy, easily agitated, sleeping a whole lot, up all night long. Always trying to borrow money and not having any expenses needed for the money, you know, bills and rent, the lack of motivation to continue working, going to school, changes in goals, missing for days at a time, without even having anybody or friends you can go to you know, coming home in the same clothing after several days. Loss of weight, today's drug source throughout the body and noticeable and weight loss.

Pascal Quintero: 12:55

So there's those are all symptoms of different substances.

Sherry Clark: 12:59

Absolutely.

Pascal Quintero: 13:01

Are there any specific things that you want to look for that tell you what type of drug that they might be on? Are there any indications of cocaine use?

Sherry Clark: 13:13

Yeah, sometimes there's body movements, uncontrollable movements, jerks of the body. Sometimes even with alcohol, I know there's handshaking. You know, vomiting, being very sick in the morning, because they're, they're needing to fix they're needing the drug of choice to get them through a stage of withdrawals. So Methamphetamine is known. It has been known to you develop sores throughout your body because the chemicals coming out, you're picking out them constantly. And there can be all over RMS faces, and movement of the jaw grinding of the teeth. I knew somebody that dug holes in her hands because of cocaine use. And she just it was just a something that she did. She just just totally rolled her fingers into her palms of her hands and reflect the

Pascal Quintero: 14:17

fingernails.

Sherry Clark: 14:18

Yeah, developed holes in her hands. Wow. So yeah, so there's quite a few that you can see with the different type of drugs.

Pascal Quintero: 14:29

Now if you start seeing those indicators with someone you love, what should you be doing?

Sherry Clark: 14:34

Well, you know, it's hard to confront, but it's something that needs to be done. I usually would start with my concerns. I'm explaining that I'm not accusing but I'm concerned. This is what I've seen. This is what concerns me. Is there something I can do for you? And usually it's an attic that's current uses becomes defensive, denies anything, or doesn't want anything to do with you might storm out of the house will scream at you. But if they're at a point where they want help, they're going to break down, they'll cry, they'll say yes. And they'll begin to share with you, what life has been dealing them what they've been dealing with life, and what's new, and in, so forth.

Pascal Quintero: 15:28

So what I'm hearing from you is that compassionate concern, that love that patient, not accusations, but just having conversations about, hey, this is what I'm concerned about.

Sherry Clark: 15:44

Yes. And I in several times, and knowing and offering help, if this isn't, if this is going on, I'm not saying it is, and giving information, allowing them to follow through with the information given, because there's different ways to deal with addictions, and different types of treatments and crisis centers and so forth. On then they might pull the paper out of your hand and walk out the door, they might throw it on the ground. But at least you know, you're showing the compassion, that concern, wanting to allow them to really make the choice.

Pascal Quintero: 16:33

I think that's the key right there is you need to allow them to make the choice. Because if you try and force someone, or even lead them in a certain decision, there's going to be that natural resistance, or they might start moving in the other way.

Sherry Clark: 16:53

Because you wanted me to that's a big statement, because they wanted me to because the judge told me because DCS said I had to, instead of them saying because I became so broken inside, I no longer loved myself or I could not survive. That's the key. That's where we want them to be to get the true help they they deserve, then they truly want from within themselves. Instead of they wanted me to

Pascal Quintero: 17:30

if someone in my life is experiencing that, and I'm just waiting for them to make that decision. What can I be doing? What advice do you have, that's

Sherry Clark: 17:42

rough first thing you have to stop enabling. There's there's some boundaries and some things you got to stop doing. Allowing them to call you get money, allow them come by and showering. Allowing them to come over and eat sleep. Allow just the whole enabling part. Because until the enabler comes to terms that I'm doing more harm than I am help, this person will continue in their addictions because they have two lives. They have a life they can live when they want to. And then a life of drugs and alcohol when they want to. Because they have both lives. But if if you know I've come to terms where I remove one of them, and then they have to pretty much fin for their own. Then hopefully they're gonna The saying is sick and tired of being sick and tired. So there's, there's a time that you have to stop enabling. My thing is the biggest thing is prayer, prayer, but also know and let them know, you love them no matter what choices they make, that you will be there or to help. But it's got to be the help into recovery. Not the help to stay in your addictive behaviors. So you when you're you know, so there's choice words. Sometimes it's very difficult. Sometimes it's hard to even say those words. Sometimes it's hard to ask the child, a sibling, a parent, not to come back. Don't come back here any longer. Because you're welcome.

Pascal Quintero: 19:45

Now you're saying that out of experience.

Sherry Clark: 19:49

Oh, absolutely. I have a 32 year old daughter at suffers in addictions throughout the year. last 10 years or so, she was a very productive young lady. She went to college full time, held a job, had her own place, and then begin to experience in different drugs. Spice is the one that I believe that just took her overboard. And then she continued to tumble after that. I am a grandparent of two grandchildren born by you know that she birthed a four year old and a one year old. And I do the best I can I don't share about the behavior with her. My granddaughter, which is the four year old, ask a lot of questions. How come mom says she's going to come? And then she doesn't come? I just explained to her that mom makes bad choices. And until mom makes better choices, then we'll see mom more. And then her question now is why does mom make bad choices? Not? Why does she make bad choices? And I just say, Honey, that's a question for mom. But we can pray for? Yes. And then my granddaughter says, okay, none. Let's pray for her. So then we pray for her. So that's my experience, just knowing that I tried it every way I showed compassion and Okay, come over. And then when I started seeing the effects that had on my granddaughter, and what kind of pain and suffering she was going through, because of the coming and going, because kids don't understand Yeah. And it was better for me to stop the coming and going. But I also let her know, we love her. If you want to call to get a ride, to detox to the crisis center, to enter a program. Even if it's a program that's out of city out of state, we are there to help transport you to this program. But until you gain a good length of sobriety, you no longer can come here. And then the questions lessened. And became far and few between then then when I was allowing her to come and go.

Pascal Quintero: 22:23

And there are so many people in this city that are in that same situation where someone that they love, whether it's their spouse, their son or daughter is working through those addictions and are stumbling in it. And we have to let them know that they're not alone. And now there are many different programs out there to help support those with loved ones. Al Anon. Right. L L narc.

Sherry Clark: 22:54

I think there's one I understand. Yes, there's a new one for Narcotics Anonymous also?

Pascal Quintero: 23:00

Yeah, do you recommend those agencies?

Sherry Clark: 23:04

I do. And I also know a lot of the Celebrate recoveries also have support groups that help with grandparents raising kids. There's also other support groups to help be able to talk about the emotion and so forth, so forth. There's faith based aid agencies, and churches that have their support groups along with it. But I most definitely suggest that if you've never been in a program, being the allanon are the person that doesn't struggle with the addiction, but has a loved one that struggles in the addictions to get connected. So you can really understand what they're going through. But most of all, that you have a voice to

Pascal Quintero: 23:54

me, you're not going through it alone. Absolutely.

Sherry Clark: 23:58

There's 1000s out there that walks through it daily.

Pascal Quintero: 24:05

And do you want to walk us through your own addiction? What started you on this path of recovery? If you've been clean and sober for almost 16 years? That's amazing. Wonderful.

Sherry Clark: 24:20

Yeah, yeah. So I was broken, you know, had some trauma as a child, and ended up in poor relationships. And I was that one that would say, I'm just going to the bar for one year, one, one hour, one beer, one bar, and then it continued and one hit 21 night. But it never ended. My addiction took off. And I became couldn't rationalize. You know, I couldn't see the importance of the family over my addiction couldn't See the importance of going to my job every day over the addiction. So I lost jobs, families, cars, whatever it went into, and ended up across the street from the gospel rescue mission. And it was the old mission. And it was called the Bethany house at the time. And I lived in a motel in a very unhealthy relationship. And a year prior to that, I had a supervisor. And when I fell off the wagon, that's what I called it. He didn't know at the time, I had an addiction to drugs. So I called it I fell off the wagon. He said, Oh, come on, Sherry. You know, you're good. 360 days a year and bad five. So get back on that wagon, or I'm going to put you in the Bethany house. So at that time, I had no clue what the Bethany house was. One year later, I'm living across the street, from the Bethany house, of course, no longer employed. But I ended up across the street from the Bethany house. I would hear the announcements because they had a speaker, ladies, it's time for lunch. And so I became so broken and the boy the man I was dating at the time, boyfriend wherever we want to go. said you gotta go and I begged him, please let me sleep on the floor. And I called the Bethany house, okay, because I'm living across the street from no beds. There's no pants, we have no room. And I cried out, please. You don't know. You don't know what I'm going through? She says, No, I probably don't. But we have no beds. But you can call back at nine in the morning.

Pascal Quintero: 26:44

And tomorrow back.

Sherry Clark: 26:45

I called back. They had a bed. I prayed the night before God, please open the door. And I'll close one. So I did. So nine o'clock. That boyfriend heard me saying you have a bed. I'll be there two o'clock. And as he walked out, he said, I've changed my mind. You can stay which was a normal thing. And I would I how I responded was, I need to pray about this. And I am not kidding. When that door shut. I heard a voice say will you go through the door that I have opened? And I said absolutely. So I went in.

Pascal Quintero: 27:24

You heard the Holy Spirit speak to you. Absolutely. Now, did you have a relationship with God before that? Yes.

Sherry Clark: 27:31

So growing up in the Baptist Church, a relationship with God. I didn't know anything about that relationship with Jesus, that the Holy Spirit's my best friend, I learned all of that to the Gospel Rescue Mission classes, volunteers, teachings, books. All of that came. I had no clue. I really had no clue. I knew who God was. God was this guy that forgave you're saying sins and set up in heaven? When I didn't know, I didn't know anything about Jesus.

Pascal Quintero: 28:08

And how long were you in the program at the Bethany house?

Sherry Clark: 28:12

Two and a half years? Well, that includes going to the transition house. I was one of the first eight that will open the transition house.

Pascal Quintero: 28:23

Oh, that is really cool. Yeah. Yeah. What a blessing that must have been because I've seen it. It's a gorgeous house. It was wonderful. So in going through that program, you learned a lot about the mind about what addiction does to the chemicals in our brain. Now, when a person goes through that process of getting clean, and trying to walk sober. Those changes happen inside the brain. Yeah, it's not like you can just suddenly stop, it has to be a process process to break out of that addiction.

Sherry Clark: 29:04

It takes you know, I didn't become that full blown out addict overnight, and I sure wasn't going to be able to come into a full blown out person and recovery overnight. So through the programs and classes. I had to learn how to retrain my brain. I had to learn how to set aside thoughts. Recognize triggers. Olympic lag is what they call it. And it takes some time. Get rid of false beliefs, projected lies, things that I had told myself. Survival lies, to to be able to survive, to replace things and it was going to take time. forgiving myself was a big one. Because shame, guilt and doubt, are so big three words that was in my recovery in my addiction that I faced in recovery. That kept me out so long. Because they built so big and so many years had gone by. But I had to walk through the process, except what I had done in the past, and then, you know, be forgive and forgive myself. But to retrain the brain. I had to replace old negative thoughts with good positive ones.

Pascal Quintero: 30:38

Replace the lies with truth.

Sherry Clark: 30:41

Absolutely. false beliefs. With true beliefs.

Pascal Quintero: 30:47

Yeah. And that did something for your family relationships, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because in your addiction, your marriage fell apart. Last contact with the kids. Yeah.

Sherry Clark: 31:01

In and out, breaking their hearts, false hopes, false promises. So it took a while for that to mend. It took a while. And I had to be accepting, though, to be accepting of what I did. When I finally got sober. And light bulbs came on or lights came on, or memories came back. I had to accept. Yes, that happened. And yes, it's same with the Olympic lag with children family. Knowing that I woke up, I was divorced, I got divorced, just those things, but they had to process and they had to also heal. But now I do have a very good relationship with my children. But I'm also very understanding of what my daughter's going through. Because that was me. I know the challenges. I know the battles, I know where that disease brain takes you, on nothing else matters. There's a saying in the AAA programs, and the NA program to nothing else matters. Besides the next to the next drink. I think that helps with my understanding, and being able to help other people that walk through with family members or friends that suffering addiction. And knowing that you don't either. That's what I can think of is that scripture, you know, in God's word that says, I do to the things I do not want to do. And I do not do the things I want to do. And that came so clear. And just really opened the door for me to understand. I didn't want to be that person. I didn't want to leave my family, abandoned my children. Hurt my parents know that my siblings suffered because they didn't know if they would get a phone call if I was dead or alive. I didn't want it to those things. But I know today with that scripture, I understand why did those things? Because it wasn't me that was doing. So today, knowing that and understanding, you know how addiction is just it's mind baffling, cunning and baffling. They say to me, and but I don't have to do it alone. Nobody does. Even those who don't suffer with addictions but suffer from somebody that is in addiction. You don't have to do that alone either.

Pascal Quintero: 33:48

Absolutely not.

Sherry Clark: 33:50

There's help. Don't walk alone. Don't think you ever have to do it alone.

Pascal Quintero: 33:58

And what is the hope that you found? That's the solution to all of this.

Sherry Clark: 34:03

Jesus? When I went into the mission, and I walked to the back of the mission at that time, there was a learning centers what we called it back there. And there stood a pastor, pastor at Smith, he stood proud and with a smile on and God spar that stood there. And I fell to my knees, I began to cry. And I said, Oh, Lord, there's a pastor here. Oh my god, there's a pastor, for some reason, my heart yearned, and I had battled for 10 years on and off going in and out of doors, detox centers, recovery centers in inpatient places, and never succeeded. And when I fell to my knees and I looked, and I said, there's a pastor, my life changed that day. And I was introduced to Jesus. My relationship never forsaken. Never I left. And he loved me God loved me that much that He sent His Son. So I could be cleansed white as snow that I could be forgiven. Because remember, shame, guilt and doubt, kept me in a place of bondage, and brokenness and hurt that I had to numb for 10 years. Because I didn't want to feel what I did. And then when I got set free, through my relationship with Jesus that I was introduced to, that I could cry out to Him. And believe me, I had challenges while I was in the center, my remember, I walked across the street, and where did I leave my boyfriend's hotel room. So relationships, you know, statistics say, relationships are number one reason why we leave treatment. And this guy lived across the street. So I challenged, but I learned how to cry out to Jesus, I learned how to look at red flags, see red flags, pay attention to those flags, listen to suggestions, have a counselor, work through the process, be forgiven, and walk in Recovery One day at a time.

Pascal Quintero: 36:13

So even though you tried at other places to try and get clean to go through rehab, nothing stuck, because the missing piece was Jesus.

Sherry Clark: 36:25

Absolutely. Just that faith based that healing through scripture, having people come alongside you, that fed into me, and fed scripture into me and songs into me, and praise and glory and the importance of it, and opening my eyes to true healing. And that true healing came through the word of God, digging down deep finding out that I didn't have to carry that yoke of trauma in childhood, and other things. But the yoke just got bigger and bigger My yoke, because I increased those brokenness and kept piling them on my yoke and carrying them. So the the other programs and the other things I did not find had was faith, Grace, mercy, forgiveness, kindness. They were so kind, cried with me, walked with me. And

Pascal Quintero: 37:33

even with that, it was still a process, you had to work hard for two years, to really change that mindset to undo the damage that was done in your brain. But you came out of that a different person. And then you went back to school? Yeah, you got your degree. And was on a board of directors

Sherry Clark: 38:01

worked in, in a secular job for the state of Arizona, and thought I was going to retire there and thought I was going to, you know, that's where I wasn't going to change anymore. I got the degree and but I know that God called me here, because my heart is really to those who suffer. You know, I'm part of God's army, I need to help those who suffer. And I have such a story of similarity, understanding. But I can share that you too can have this new freedom and this new happiness during these years, the 16 years, I was a facilitator of a secular support group, cocaine anonymous, and I went into a treatment facility and did that group for five years. And the ladies would say, there's something about you. I want what you have. And this is how I would respond to be ready at 930. I'll be here Sunday to pick you up. You too can have what I have. It's nothing about me. Let me introduce you to my cheeses. And majority the time they would go. I seen ladies come out of secular programs that I would go around the city of Tucson, pick them up in my van that I got after graduating from the program and I wondered, Lord, why do I have to get a van. But then when I when I look back and I see how many people I transported in that van, I saw them change lives. I saw them get baptized. I saw them go on to churches and become people who went out and helped other people. But to see that it was really nothing about me. It was about that really ancient ship, and how freedom comes with the relationship with Jesus, knowing God, knowing what he has, there's a verse that sticks in me that keeps me from returning to old behaviors, old ways of thinking, for I've hidden your word in my heart, that I may not sin against you, not against man, not against the world, but against my true love. And I found out I have a true love. Many times, when I was out there, I always wanted a rescuer, a knight in shining armor. And now that I've learned that Jesus was my knight, I can close my eyes, and I can visualize him standing in the crowd of people on that horse, but at that time, I didn't turn my head. But today, I know,

Pascal Quintero: 40:57

and you have His Spirit inside of you, giving you strength every day, every day.

Sherry Clark: 41:04

And it helps me stay grounded. To have strength. Remember, I am a grandmother of two young children. And so a lot of times, you know, I had people tell me, how do you do it all? It's, it's not me that really doesn't. Because through the Scripture, and what I've learned, is I draw through him. And believe me, flesh takes over I battle, you know, I can use that sarcasm, sometimes rolling or the, it's honte eyes. But you know, that's okay. That's all okay. Because I've learned that I'll, you know, I'm not supposed to reach for to be perfect. I'm just supposed to do the best that I can. And he gives me a way out. I learned that too. Because many times when I was challenged or triggered or drawn, or that boyfriend was calling me telling me to come out, it tells me in that scripture, his promises, I will give you a way out. So I would cry out to them or look at the red flag. And no, no, that's a red flag. I should not be doing that. And that's how I got the 16 years. You know, it sure I have not relapsed in you learn there's a dry relapse and a wet relapse. Well, you're here at the mansion. And I got angry, I would say I'm not going to relapse. That was my number one fear. And that's what my sponsor asked me. What's your biggest fear Sherry relapse because I always relapsed. She said, just don't pick up the drink or the hit. And you won't relapse and walked away from me. And I thought, what was that supposed to mean? Until she taught me That's true. If I didn't pick up the drink, or didn't pick up the substance, I would not relapse. But what tools was I given to keep me from? And one of them, I could cry out to God. Lord, help me. I'm struggling today. And even to this day, with my struggles in life and trials and temptation, and things that the world will bring you. Because it doesn't stop. Just because we go and recovery. We still have trials and temptations. Absolutely no. And yeah. Then when we get pressured, that sometimes that addictive behavior thing, so it'd be so much. No, I don't even vocalize it anymore. I will not set. If I could just have a drink today. I'd be okay. Early in recovery. Yes, I did. But I've learned that through my tongue, in my words, shows the condition of my heart. And I want to do is show that I'm grateful and honored to serve a God that changed my life.

Pascal Quintero: 43:56

So to wrap things up, what would you tell people who are still in their addiction today?

Sherry Clark: 44:03

There's a new freedom and a new happiness. You know, Jesus is calling. He calls everybody God pursues. It is just us not willing to listen. Not to look because we're numb. We're distant. We're refusing to listen, we're gone. We're emotionally and spiritually gone. But there is a new freedom and new happiness. And it truly actually so much better. Call somebody reach out. Come to the mission. Go to a church, find a good home church. There's plenty of CTRs but remember, please remember, you do not have to do this alone. There are plenty out there that will walk with you. And remember that but you have to you have to Do It and commit to it. Absolutely.

Pascal Quintero: 45:03

Yeah. If you would like to support our ministry, or you know someone who needs help in the Tucson area, please visit us online at grm tucson.com. Thank you. Thank you.